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Friday...
Whoever thought I'd be spending a Friday night in my room...watching Fear Factor and writing in this diary...completely sober?! Not I! But I seriously don't mind, really...Cadence is sleeping next to me right now and I don't mind staring at her from time to time... Bry is in Florida right now...he left last Saturday to pick up some of the helicopters that they'll be using in Iraq... Which is why Cadence is with me...I could just have her sleep in her crib...in her room...all the way upstairs...but then I'd be lonely! In this big bed...all by myself! So the whole thing with Cynthia is really stressing me out right now... She hasn't been able to keep a job since she got here...to top it off, both her kids are here...which makes it a lot more expensive for me and Bry... We're paying all the bills....which is going up the wazoo...and groceries that normally lasts us a month literally lasts us a week...it sucks... This whole thing is really putting a strain on our friendship, too...we hardly even talk anymore... She's always upstairs...sleeping...or talking on the phone... She's not even really helping with the cleaning...I will give her credit for washing the dishes from time to time...but doing the dishes is just putting them in the dishwasher...and she doesn't even rinse it out before she does! So then little food particles gets stuck on the plates...and I hate that! Anyway...I know she needs help and I don't want to kick her when she's down...but what else can I do to help?! And I can't keep doing this if it's going to end up hurting myself and my family in the process... This is really costing us financially...and it sucks...I have Cadence to worry about now...it's not just me anymore... I told Bry last week that I just don't want to end up alone when he deploys...just incase I needed help...but then he asks, "And how much help do you think Cynthia would be?" And you know...it kind of makes sense...which is awful of me to think, I know....because she is my friend... **Sigh** I miss my sister... I wish she was here... Things would be sooo different... How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |