|
| Current : Archives : Rings : E-Mail : Book : Notes : Profile : Lucky Design : Host |
|
Monday...
I may be PMS'ing...I've been cranky ALL FREAKIN' WEEKEND!!! Friday night....I fell asleep at 8:30 p.m. on my couch...I was just sooo tired! Woke up at around 11:30 and left Bryan a quick message...turned over...and went right back to sleep... Woke up Saturday morning feeling like a million bucks! Saturday....I just went and had my car oil changed - way overdue! And went grocery shopping....then went to Lori's baby's 2nd birthday party...Edward and Veronica were there...which brought back some memories from way back when we all used to party together... I felt a little uncomfortable...well, because Edward and I used to actually be FRIENDS...but, he liked me...and I didn't like him THAT WAY...He was sooo sweet...he even let my sister and my other friends use his apartment for my surprise birthday party when I turned 21...he helped put up balloons all over his apartment...and then one night I was sooo drunk, and we ended up kissing - JUST KISSING... And the next day, I felt really guilty about it, because he was my friend...and I didn't want to mess that up...and apparently one kiss did it... And then after that...he threw another party at his apartment (they used to ALWAYS throw parties at their apartment)...it was a one big bachelor pad...nothing but guys living there...their living room had liquor bottles for decoration...and one whole wall was covered with party pictures...from Cancun....and all the other parties they've ever been to... Anyway, at that party...he told James to talk to me and tell me how he felt about me...and so James took me upstairs...just the two of us...and he started talking about Edward...then Edward comes in and he caught James holding my hand..but at that time James was holding my hand saying, "Joanne, for real...this guy is so into you - give him a chance." But Edward took it the wrong way and went down the stairs...and left...I was told that he left crying...but I didn't see that for myself... And after that, things just got blown way out of proportion...gossips started going around about how I slept with James...and that just pissed me off because James is a really good friend of mine! I don't even see him that way...he's one of those friends whom I used to go to his place for lunch and eat there...or I would make him cook for me...or I would take a nap on his couch before going back to work...and we were strictly FRIENDS...I mean, come on...I would tell him stuff about guys that I like! I used to confide in him when Chris and I were dating...and he knows the whole history about Richard and I! That was just ridiculous! So anyway, I haven't seen this guy (Edward) in about 2 years...and so you could understand how uncomfortable I felt when he showed up...with his girlfriend who I know doesn't really like me...when they got together, she used to make him go into the room with her as soon as I got there and they wouldn't come out until after I left... Anyway, we just kind'a said a quick "hi" to each other...but that's it...and shortly after, we left... Saturday night...I didn't do ANYTHING! I stayed on the couch and watched t.v...Lori came and spent the night...and I fell asleep while watching "Kate and Leopold"....I behaved like the good litle girl that I am... :-) Sunday...there were a couple of Cinco de Mayo Events that were going on...The girls and I went to the Fair Park for a Car show...Baby Bash and Frankie J performed...Emilio came and hung out with us for a little bit...Cindy didn't come because she threw a hissy fit, but I think she's over it now... I think the guys were here yesterday...but I'm not too sure. The last I heard they were going to be here...but I haven't really talked to them since their last concert. I mean, I would see Izzy sign on to his computer once in a while...but I haven't sent him a message...I dunno why... Speaking of...I didn't even realize I was completely signed off my AIM...I think I may have been signed off for almost the whole day! I just signed on right now and Bryan had his away message on... It says, "went out to buy some military junk...be back in about 2 hours (it's 3:30)"...so I'm just here...waiting now... Speaking of Bryan...I kind'a got mad at him yesterday...reason being was that I called over there and Jake picked up the phone...so I say, "May I please speak with Bryan?" And he says, "No, he's not home right now. He went to go drop off his laundry" (He gets his laundry done, by the way - spoiled brat!) Then he says, "Is this Sarah again?" So I'm like..."Ummm...no...It's Joanne." Then he goes, "Oh, okay." So then a few minutes after that Bryan calls from his cell phone and I tell him that I called his house and Jake picks up...and he says, "I know, I'm sorry about that." And I said, "Well...yeah...you should...considering my name's NOT Sarah." And he says, "I know...she's some girl I haven't talked to for 6 months and she just all of a sudden calls today...I haven't returned any of her phone calls yet and I'm not meaning to." Anyway...I still have my doubts...I mean, who wouldn't?! He said that I have every reason to be mad...but that he's not doing anything wrong...and to give him time to tie up all this "junk" as he so called it..."Junk" meaning girls he used to talk to...date...or what not? I mean...don't get me wrong...I still have guy friends...and I don't mean for him to not have any female friends...but I guess this all boils down to trust again...and I have very little...AND I'm still trying to work on it... I guess I'm just looking for "proof"...I mean, he says all the right things all the time...but how am I supposed to know that he means it? And it's so hard to find out because he lives way over there.... He wants me to move over there...but come on...that's a HUGE step...what if things don't work out? What if he realizes that I'm not "the girl" like he claims? There's so many "what if's" in this situation and I guess I'm just weighing everything out...I told him that this will take time...especially something this BIG...I just want to be sure...and I just want him to be sure...I want to give it time and MAKE SURE... I don't even know if any of this is making sense...but as long as it does to me...then I guess that's okay...at least I can weigh out everything and figure things out as I go... So we'll see how all of this unfolds... Oh, yeah...I talked to Esmer today...after a looong time...and I just have so much to tell her! To think...we used to talk every day...and now I hardly get to talk to her or see her anymore... We'll have to get together for drinks sometime...and catch up....
How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |