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Friday...
Okay, I GIVE UP! No more work for me for today!!! I really just can't focus...and then my mind just starts drifting off...I guess today being a Friday - a beautiful Friday, on top of that...it's just not helping this situation any... Anyway, Cynthia was e-mailing me just a little while ago...she found out some stuff about Mike...and from what I gather, it's "not-too-good" stuff...I don't know what it is yet, because she wants to actually "talk" about it...so she said she'll call me when she gets to Paula's, which will be in about 15 minutes... Oooh...I can't wait! This is gonna be juicy! She was actually talking to Mike's "current" girlfriend - Yeah, ALREADY...considering Cynthia and him just broke up about a month ago... Anyway...she was e-mailing me...talking about all guys are alike, and some just know how to cover up their sh*t with "sweetness" and make a girl fall for them....and some just act like straight up jerks....and I know she's mad about the whole situation, because...well, she thought Mike was the sweetest person ever.... But then it got me thinking...what if she's right? What if ALL guys are the same and there's just no hope of me ever finding the guy I want? What if all this about Bryan being sweet and telling me all the right things and doing all the right things "for now" is all just a big cover-up to "get" the girl? He said that if he was really like that, then he wouldn't even try to keep up a repor with me being so far away...he said before he "substituted a sexual relationship with someone close by rather than a good relationship with someone far away, but the war put a lot of things in perspective" for him (I quoted and unquoted because those words came strictly from him while we were chatting....and I remember it clearly because I read those lines over and over trying to decipher if they were for real or not).... All in all...I guess I'm still trying to keep my guard up...just so I won't end up disappointed or hating myself for giving in so quickly...I need to be sure... On top of that...some people here at work were talking about "long-distance" relationships earlier and how they "never" work out...NEVER...and you know...that got me thinking, too... I always thought that as long as both parties are willing to try and give 100% into it, that anything's possible...as long as it's the right person... I've always been a hopeless romantic and have always thought that nothing's impossible when it comes to these things...and that if ever you find "the one" that you should be willing to go through anything to keep that person... But then again, if they really are "the one"...I've also always thought that you won't have to try too hard to keep them...that they're still going to be there regardless... But...those may just be my own hopeless notions...things I've come up with in my head...an illusion that's based on these sappy love movies that I watch...and romance novels that I read...It may just be me... Maybe it really doesn't exist... I've always wanted to think that somewhere out there is ONE perfect person that you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with...and some are just lucky enough to find that person...and some just doesn't wait long enough for the chance... But what if you actually wait....forever....and it never happens? (Sigh)...Sorry....it's just that all these "thoughts" have been going through my head all freakin' day! See what happens when I don't work?! I start analyzing and over-analyzing EVERYTHING!
How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |