2004-02-27 | 9:38 a.m.
<< If he only knew... >>

Friday...

I'm sooo freakin' glad it's Friday! I need to go home and SLEEP!!!

So...last night...we ended up going to see the guys ...and what can I say? It was fun. It always is...

We went to the Rodeo, where they performed...Drank a few Smirnoff's...a hurricane...feelin' pretty good...

We saw Adolf first...and told him that we were sorry for acting like complete fools last time . He was just like, "Don't worry about it. It's all good." But I knew he was still going to put that in our faces...I just knew! Anyway, I gave Roy a hug...he was like, "Hey, girl...haven't seen you in a while!" And I said, "I know! How have you guys been?" He was like, "We've been good." Then he was like, "So what are y'all gonna do afterwards? Are y'all hanging out with us or what?" And I said, "Sure, where at?" And he goes, "We're staying at the Radisson, Room 419." After that, I gave Alex a hug...then Izzy...he was like, "I called you a few days ago." And I said, "Liar! You didn't!" And he said, "I did. You didn't pick up." And I said, "Well, it wasn't on my missed calls. Did you leave a message?" And he said, "No." Then J.B. creeps up on me and says, "Hey!!!" And I turned around and gave him a hug...it was cool...I haven't seen them in so long...

So then, after that whole thing...they played...and they were GOOD! I was totally focused on one person, as usual...and I shouldn't, but I can't help it! He was just great out there...he just...glowed. After that, we went backstage...hung out with the guys for a long while...goofed around...we talked to Andrew on the way back...he was sitting down, wiping his pretty face with a towel...and we gave him a hug and told him that he did great out there, and that we got their C.D...Esmer asked him if he wrote "My World" and he said yes...and then she asked if he wrote it for her...and he just shook his head "No"...and she goes, "It's not?" And he said, "Well...a lot of the stuff on it came from her, but I didn't write it for her." And I said, "Well, it's really good." And he just smiled and said, "No, it's not." And I said, "No, for real...it is." And he said, "Thanks."

After that we went outside in the back...Adolf kept on making fun of me...I would go over there and hit his chest and tell him to shut up...Then I was talking to Roy while he was sitting in some truck...Alex was sitting on the passenger seat...and J.B. came up behind me and Alex started telling him something and pointing at me...then J.B. goes, "Hey, Alex wants to hook it up with you." I looked at Alex and said, "Shut up, dork!" And he just started smiling and said, "What?"...

Then Izzy came up to me and he goes, "Let me see your hand." And I held it out, and this dummy put an "M" on my hand with a marker! Then he goes, "You're a minor now, and you can't drink!" I was like, "Boy, you better hope that comes off!"

The guys gave me this picture thing of them and I told them to sign it to make it "official"...Andrew signed that and they also gave me this newspaper thing where they were on and I told Andrew to sign that as well...I didn't realize until this morning that he put "Much Care...and then he signed his name at the bottom." It probably doesn't even mean anything, but it put a smile to my face this morning...and that's all that counts...

Anyway, after a while, we all went back inside the club...and chilled there for a while...I was standing next to him for the longest...and we were both just quiet...it's weird, because I can goof around and play around with the rest of the guys so easily...but when it comes to him, my mind goes blank and I can't seem to think of anything to say! I did ask him what he was gonna do afterwards, and he said, "Well, the guys are going to the hotel...but I'm just gonna go to the house." And I said, "To the house? Howcome?" And he said, "Girl, you know I never do anything. I usually just want to chill." And I said, "Yeah, I know."

Anyway, Esmer had told him about the picture we took of him while he was playing the piano, and he wants to see it...so he gave us his e-mail address so we can send it...and I think I might just send him an e-mail later on this afternoon...we'll see...

I was looking at the pictures on the cover of their c.d. and noticed this silver bracelet that he always had on...the first time I noticed it was when he was playing the piano for us about a year ago...and then he always had it on afterwards...well, I noticed last night that he didn't have it on...and maybe I'm looking too much into it, but I have a feeling she gave him that bracelet...

Anyway, we didn't go to the hotel afterwards...for one, Esmer and her crazy curfews...she couldn't be home that late, otherwise she would have gotten in trouble with Luis...and it was already 2:30...Another thing...there's really no point in going because the one person I really wanted to see wasn't going to be there...I mean, it would have been cool to hang out with the rest of the guys and trip out and goof around and stuff, but I wouldn't have wanted for Esmer to get in trouble because of it...

So...there'll be other times...

After getting Andrew's e-mail address...I gave him a hug and told him we'll see him next time...said good-bye and went home...

I just know that he can't know my thoughts...how beautiful I think he is...what his smile does to my insides...I'm just going to keep it cool...because...well...it's a loss cause...and I'm a big enough of a girl to accept that...

But it doesn't hurt to admire him from a far....

Before | After

last five

How the stars line up - 08.25.09

2008 already?! - 2008-01-07

Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27

Already been a year... - 2006-09-05

Too late... - 2006-06-30