2003-09-22 | 5:23 p.m.
<< Emotional-Wreck-Day >>

Tuesday...

The weirdest thing happened today...I cried...and I don't even know what for. Karen just talked to me about being late all the time...and the weird part is that it's not like I don't try not to...it's that traffic always catches me, no matter what time I leave for work. Anyway, it's not even about that...but it's like it triggered it. And I just busted out in tears...how embarrassing.

And then when the tears started coming, it's like it wouldn't stop. Cindy would e-mail me asking what was wrong, and the tears would come again...and the thing was, I couldn't tell her what was wrong, because I didn't know myself. Even Karen asked what was wrong...if it was work stuff...if it was personal stuff...and I didn't even know what to say. I guess it's just everything.

Holding everything in and not showing emotions can do that to you, I guess. Make you explode. And that's what I did. Today was an emotional-wreck-day.

I finally took a half a day vacation and went home a little after noon. So that I could gather myself together.

Ugh! I hate showing that emotional side of me. Nobody's supposed to see that vulnerable side. Specially not at work. But it's like I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop the tears....

When I went home, I didn't even tell Beannie what happened. She was off from work today....I just told her that I took half a day off. We popped in our favorite video in...and I fell asleep. For about 4 whole hours. I was so tired. I guess this whole emotional thing can do that to you....

I just feel so...down. So alone. And I know I have friends...and I have family...but it feels like it's not enough. And then all this stress at work. I guess if you just keep it all bottled up inside, sooner or later it's all gonna come out. Whether you want it to or not.

Before | After

last five

How the stars line up - 08.25.09

2008 already?! - 2008-01-07

Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27

Already been a year... - 2006-09-05

Too late... - 2006-06-30