2004-04-22 | 4:37 p.m.
<< The best feeling in the world... >>

Thursday....

I'm back! (Whew! Finally...some breathing time...)

This week has seriously been zooming like crazy!

On top of that, I have a day off tomorrow...the chicas and I are going on a road trip to Fiesta. What's Fiesta, you ask? Well...it's this thing that happens in San Antonio once a year towards the last two weeks of April....

And...seeing as this would be the last weekend...I'm sure it will be jam packed....

The first time I went was about 4 years ago...and I've been hooked eversince. Now it's just tradition that I do - every year I've gone with a different group of people...but every year, I've managed to go.

It's just fun! It's been a part of my life since Richard and I broke up...and I love it!

Anyway, I told Bryan about it...I just told him, "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going (and then I told him how it was and stuff like that...basically they close down all of downtown San Antonio...and they have rides...booths that sell all kinds of food and alcohol...beads...different performers...bands...and people from different towns go and just have fun) because I didn't want you to think that I was hiding anything from you."

Then he says, "I didn't really think you were asking me for permission...I mean, eitherway I would never demand or expect for you to ask me for permission. I completely trust you. So go and have fun."

He always seem to say the right things, doesn't he?!

Anyway...let me finish off the story of my weekend...and then we can move on to other stuff...more than likely pertaining to the same subject - which would be Bryan...

For some reason, I just need to let this all out...right here...right now...that way I can look back...read this over and over...and analyze things like I always do...

So...where was I?

Oh, yeah...after our 4 a.m. breakfast...Bryan and I spent some more time together...talking...cuddling...and all that good stuff (haha)...and finally went to bed probably at about 6...6:30...

When we got out of bed Sunday, Ray and his cousin and her friend are gone...so Bryan and I showered and then went out to eat...shared an ice cream at Braum's...and then went back to my apartment and attempted to watch 2 movies to no avail....

By the time we realized it...5 hours have passed and we don't know where it went...and Paula was knocking on my door...

Yeah...that was fun!

Anyway...we were starving by the time the girls got there, so Bry and I went and grabbed some Chinese...took it back to the apartment...and ate...then got ready to go and have some drinks...

So...Cindy, Paula, Beannie, Ray, and Bry, and of course - me...went to Firehouse Grill just to hang out...have a few drinks...talk...

The guys are just so funny...Ray was telling us to say "dookie" without giggling or laughing - and we would try - but then just bust out laughing...

Anyway...Bryan and Ray left on Monday afternoon at about 1:30 and I've never been sadder...

Just didn't think we'd hit it off so well, is all...

I guess we can just take it one step at a time and see where this leads us...

For now...I'll settle with what we can get...

Which reminds me...I bought my plane ticket to go visit him from May 14th through the 17th! So excited. :-)

Then...after that...Ray, his girlfriend, and Bry are coming here that week and staying for the week...

I think Ray's getting a boat from his grandparents and they're going to pick it up...so I told Bry to go with Ray so we can spend some more time together...

This may be going a little too fast, don't you think? And I don't think I can do anything but hold on for the ride and see where this will take me...

For now...I'm happy...and I think that's a good thing...

Oh, and remember how I mentioned that he was "kind'a" dating someone back in Boston?

Well...he told her as soon as he got back about me...he called her up Tuesday afternoon and broke the whole thing off...

She said something about she's not a yoyo, so don't think he can come running back to her if this doesn't work out..or something like that...and then asked if they can still hang out when he goes up there to visit...

Yeah...he's going there to visit his family and take this Fireman test next week....his plane leaves early tomorrow morning....

So...I'm a little anxious about that whole situation...

But then again, I guess he could have been a jerk about this whole thing and not tell me anything about her...I never would have known...or better yet...waited until after he left Boston before he told her anything about me...

But still...remember my little conversation with Chizzles about how a guy can handle temptation???

I guess I just need to realize that this thing won't work without trust...and that's just what I'm going to have to do...

I'll also have to be more careful...

"Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst..."

But this weekend...I felt that feeling...that thing I've been looking for all this time...that thing I haven't had for so long...being spoiled from head to toe...being appreciated...catching that person stare at you in amazement when they thought you weren't looking....

And you weren't even doing anything special...you were just being yourself...you were just being yourself and he thought it was the greatest thing ever...

It's the best feeling in the world, I tell you...

Before | After

last five

How the stars line up - 08.25.09

2008 already?! - 2008-01-07

Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27

Already been a year... - 2006-09-05

Too late... - 2006-06-30