2003-12-12 | 12:10 p.m.
<< J.P. >>

Saturday...

Last night...before I went to bed...I thought about calling and saying "Hey, it's me. Just calling to make sure you guys made it home safe. And I wanted to tell you that it really was nice meeting you...no "I guess" at the end of it."

But my hands all of a sudden turned cold...and I started shaking...even with the covers over me. And I just couldn't. And I thought about saying, "I'm sorry for all the drama." But I very well couldn't say that, either.

I actually dialed his number...the number he gave me...on this piece of note paper I got off their bedside table at the Aristocrat...this nameless number...

I let it ring twice...and decided I couldn't do it. Not tonight. And hung up...and forced myself to go to bed.

Four hours of sleep and I couldn't will myself to go to bed...all because of a stupid boy...with that smile...and that sense of humor...that had me laughing all day Thursday as well as all night...and had me mad as hell the time after that...

I also felt like going into their website and posting a note under his name....and saying "Sorry if I seemed a little irritated with you. You seem to have a way of getting under people's skin. Anyway, it really was nice to meet you. And I mean that." But as soon as I wrote the words....I pressed the delete button...

I couldn't put that on an internet for everybody to see....if I want to say something like that...I have his number. I can't be putting notes under his name just like the rest of them...the rest of the "I love you, J.P's" and the "I wish you were mine" notes...It's just not me.

Eric said that I won't find what I'm looking for on the road (this comment was more than likely referring to J.P.). And I told him that I wasn't looking for anything on the road. We're just having fun.

Maybe I should just take his advice.

Before | After

last five

How the stars line up - 08.25.09

2008 already?! - 2008-01-07

Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27

Already been a year... - 2006-09-05

Too late... - 2006-06-30