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"February 25, 1999
...."I don't care anymore!" He said over the phone. Just hearing those words cut my heart open like a sharp knife. "What are you trying to say? Do you want to break up?" I asked, trying to sound strong. "Don't ask me that right now." He answers. But I had to know. I had to find out. Did he still want to be with me? Was he willing to throw it all away? "Answer me!" I shouted. I was hurt. And as every minute passed, I hurt even more. "Fine. Yes, okay. I want to break up. There's your answer." He answered sharply. Just hearing those words made my heart stop beating. It was as if everything was falling apart - falling into pieces. I couldn't believe it. When I hung up the phone, I felt nothing. No tears came to my eyes - just numbness. It was as if all of a sudden, my heart didn't exist. Then a song came on the radio. A song about love, as most songs are. I closed my eyes and let myself wander back into the past. Through my many memories, I saw myself crying on a cool night with his arms around me, whispering words of comfort in my ear. Yes, that was the time when I missed my brothers terribly and he just hugged me and whispered things in Spanish I couldn't even understand. Whatever they were, they sounded so sweet - it was as if I understood. Again my mind wanders back to when he gave me a star. On a clear night, he pointed to the brightest star in the sky and said that it was mine. Then, my memory took me back to when his face filled with tears. He was all alone, he said. Nobody cares, he thought. But he was wrong. I cared deeply. Right then, it was my turn to offer words of comfort. "Don't worry. Things will get better," I told him. He had gone through so much, and I felt sympathy towards him. I also felt a deep sense of admiration for this guy who had endured such hardships. Yes, there were moments when he wept to me like a little boy, but that only made me admire him even more. With my eyes closed, I went over many memories we shared - all the roses he gave and all the love he showered upon me. When we first got together, he would just stare at me. I would look at him and ask what he's looking at. He would just smile and say, "I still can't believe I'm with you." All of a sudden, tears started pouring down my face and my heart began beating heavily. Through all those memories, I found my wounded heart. It wasn't numb anymore, but in terrible pain. I don't know how long I cried for before I recognized it, the phone awakened me in the middle of the night. Sleepily, I picked it up. "I love you." A voice said on the other line. It was him. He didn't mean to break up with me, after all. I smiled and asked him why he called. He said he didn't know what to say. He couldn't sleep. All he could do was think about what to say to me. "And, what did you finally think about saying to me?" I asked him. "That I love you." He said softly...."
How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |