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Monday...
On Friday night...I went to Humperdinks with Esmer and some co-workers of hers...and I just couldn't get myself to have fun. My heart felt sooo heavy. Afterwards...I just went home. I went home and cried. I looked through my senior scrap book...and just cried. I let myself drift back to the past...when everything was so simple...so perfect...and I let myself remember how it felt to be loved. And I let the tears fall...maybe It was my way of trying to close the door down....drown myself in my sorrows...and then put it all behind me afterwards.... Anyway...here are a few excerpts from my senior scrapbook...a few of my many cherished memories... "June 21, 1998... ...Three days before our second-year anniversary and there we were...at the Irving mall, buying gifts for each other. For this special day I bought him a bracelet, which he promised to always wear. He held my hand and stared at me as he repeated over and over how beautiful I was. Still, everytime I think of that day, my mouth turns up a smile. All the time I wonder how lucky one can be to find a guy who could love so well. How lucky can one get to find someone who would give anything in the world to make you happy? Three years ago, he became a really good friend. He was there when I needed someone to talk to at three o'clock in the morning. When I needed cheering up, he was always there to make me laugh. He made me feel special the times I doubted myself, and, when I thought I was alone, he comforted me and reminded me of all the people who cared. Then, a year passed and our friendship turned into something more. He cared for me just as I cared for him. We shared our fears along with our dreams. As time passes by, we seem to be getting closer. I remember one day he gave me his necklace along with a lucky charm pendant and made me promise to never take it off. Up to this very day, I still have it on, close to my heart. Now, two years have passed since we got together and I love him more than ever. The only fear I hold deep inside my heart is the doubt that if this "love" would ever last. Sometimes I get so scared I feel as if I have to hold on to him so tight just so he won't disappear from my life. But I know better than that. I realize that I just have to live each day as it goes and hope that it lasts. I've come to realize that if you hold on too tight, they just might not be able to breathe and struggle to get away, but if you hold them gently and give them just enough love, just enough freedom, they just might stay with you for the rest of their life..."
How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |