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Friday...
Today...was moving day... We're all switching cubes, cause some people from Bldg. 1 are moving over here...so they put us in this room...which is okay, I guess...cause we'll have privacy... Like right now...I'm all alone...and it's pretty nice... Okay, I've got a dilemma... I talked to Richard today and told him that I was gonna go visit him in Fort Riley next weekend...He wanted me to go today, but it was already too short of a notice...so I told him next weekend I'll go so that way I can ask for a Vacation on Monday... Here's where the dilemma comes... Eric's supposed to come here next weekend...they're having a show on the 12th and I had already promised him I'll be there... He's supposed to call me as soon as they get in town so I can meet him at his hotel and pick him up and take him to my mom's cause she's cooking breakfast for us... When he called for me last Saturday, he called my house first and talked to my mom for a while...and she just happened to invite him over for breakfast cause he said he misses her cooking...they have a weird relationship like that...she said he reminds her of one of my brothers...and he thinks I'm lucky to have a mom like her...go figure... Anyway, what the hell do I do?! I had already told Richard I was going...because I completely forgot that the show was already this coming weekend...the 12th...it seemed like such a long time away! And Eric already thinks I'm going to spend time with them when he gets here... Hmmm...what to do...what to do... I know I have to talk to Richard...and get this "closure" stuff done and over with...we never really had a heart to heart talk after we've been broken up...and I seriously think that's what I need...to let him know my feelings...how this whole thing has affected me...not like he would care...but I feel like I just have to let it out and talk to him...and it's not gonna happen here...we need to be by ourselves so we can figure out exactly what we want...if there's anything there still...or if it's gone...maybe it's been gone and I just haven't realized it. Either way, I have to find out. Because I'm tired of thinking "What if?"... But then again...I have to talk to Eric also...to let him know that I'm always going to be there for him...as a friend. To let him know how much I care about him, but that I deserve more...and that's something he can't give me...and that if he really cares about me like he says he does, that he'll accept my decision... That and I want to meet J.P. and Chris. :-) (They weren't there when we hung out...they were already in Florida) But I did meet John (who's a sweetie, by the way)...and Albert (who thinks he's all that)...and Tiko (who's such a sweetheart!)...and of course Robbie...but I've met him before, anyway...so it's not like that matters... Anyway, I guess I still have a week to figure it out... For now...I'm going to close my files down...because it's 6...and I'm outta here for the day!
How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |