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Thursday...
I think I have it figured out...maybe the reason why I feel so alone...is because in the end...I am alone. Yes, I have family who loves me, and friends to have fun with...but nobody who really understands me...and knows where I'm coming from.... They always think, "Oh, Joanne...she can handle it. She's strong." Or..."What do you have to worry about?! You always get things your way...you're spoiled!" But really....they don't know. They don't know when I'm hurting...or what I'm feeling. I guess I keep it all locked away and hidden that nobody can really see. On the outside I'm all smiles and laughter...I play around...and make everyone laugh...when they see me, they see a "fun" girl...a party girl...but they don't see the hurt behind them. They think I'm okay...maybe because I make it seem like I'm okay. But I still can't help but feel empty...and alone. When I was logging in here to write...Jeanne's diary automatically came up...and I couldn't help but read it. She was writing a letter to God...praying for Peter...and my little PJ...but nothing for me. And I so need it right now, because I don't think he's listening to me. Maybe he'll listen to her. But see...not even I'm in her prayers...the girl who's so close to me. Not even she knows...
How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |