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2003-11-18 | 5:19 p.m.
<< Something wonderful? >>


Beannie said something last night that got me thinking...when we were driving home from getting her passport taken cared of...she said, "I think I understand now why Richard is with her." And I said, "Why is that?" And she said..."Because he doesn't want to have to live the rest of his life being scared to lose you. With her...he doesn't have to worry. With you...he worries all the time. And I think he's tired of living like that. I keep asking myself, 'why am I staying with Peter?' and that's the answer that popped in my head...I don't want to have to love somebody so much that I'd be living in fear of losing them for the rest of my life."

But why not take that chance? Why not give yourself wholeheartedly to someone and experience what it's like to really love and be loved? So what if it ends up hurting you? Shouldn't you be glad that you got to experience it...just once...instead of being cocooned safely behind your emotional guard that you don't ever experience anything wonderful? Maybe you don't want to be destroyed in the live the rest of your days feeling cold...and a zombie with nothing else left beating inside you...lifeless. Is that what you're so afraid of? So you'll just leave first before anyone else leaves you? Well, I've got news for with someone you don't love is like living the rest of your days feeling cold...and lonely....lifeless. You may not be hurting...but you will not be happy, either. Because that feeling won't be there...the feeling that nothing else in the world matters as long as you're together...that shiver that runs through your whole body when you hold hands...that look that can say a thousand words...that understands...even without speaking...without any of that...there's really not much left out of that meaningless relationship you call marriage.

Before | After

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How the stars line up - 08.25.09

2008 already?! - 2008-01-07

Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27

Already been a year... - 2006-09-05

Too late... - 2006-06-30