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2003-11-07 | 2:22 p.m.
<< Bad Mood? >>


I'm so glad it's Friday....I'll be even happier once it's the end of the day...and I'll be able to finally get outta here. These calls are frustrating me...slow people frustrate me...stupid people frustrate me...actually, a lot of things are frustrating me right now.

I woke up to a nasty's been's cold...traffic sucked this you can see, I didn't have a very good start.

But on a more refreshing note...IT'S FRIDAY!

Stacy just came here...rubbing it in my face that she might to to Denver sometime this month with Karen...for 3 days. Great. So she gets to travel...while I'm stuck here taking calls. And why? Because she was the one who went to the supervisors and "talked" while she brought back the work to my desk for ME to work on them. GREAT. JUST GREAT. Well...she can just KISS MY ASS. I don't even feel like talking to her, anymore. I try not to as much as possible. Except when she comes in here...then I try to be decent. But I think she's starting to get the drift. The two faced little b*tch.

I had a very disturbing dream last night, too...which didn't even help my mood this morning. It was about Richard (of just had to be). I dreamt that I went to visit him...and while we were cuddling..."she" came...and started making all this fuss. So then he decides he wants to be with me (if only it were that easy)...but then she keeps coming back for some reason...making everything so difficult...and she seemed to have done some kind of voodoo...I was all very weird...but it seemed so real. And I saw his eyes...they were so confused...and I knew that he loved me...but he couldn't be with me...there were too many things in the way...and it made me feel so bad.

So I woke up feeling bad...and deprived...and lonely.

Lonelier than I was when I fell asleep.

And I love him so much...and it hurts to even think about him...and knowing that she has him...and I don't...and not knowing why. It's not her's not her what the hell is it?!

Sometimes I wish the answers would just come to me...

Sometimes I wish I could just stop loving him...

Sometimes I wish it were the other way around....that I could be with someone...and I could make him feel how it feels to want me...and not be able to have least not all of me....not the most important part...which is the heart....

Before | After

last five

How the stars line up - 08.25.09

2008 already?! - 2008-01-07

Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27

Already been a year... - 2006-09-05

Too late... - 2006-06-30