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Monday...
I'm tired, I'm sleepy, and I'm bored outta my mind!!! Okay...I just needed to get that out of my system... I'm pretty much almost done with all my work for the week...so here I am...taking it easy...surfing a few websites that I haven't been on in a while...being bored...wanting to sleep...and debating whether or not I should just stay in tonight and sleep or actually behave and do laundry and then go work out...there's this urge of laziness trying to overpower me...and I don't know if I can survive it!!! It rained really hard today...and I got soaked on my way to the car during lunch...and I just got my car washed yesterday!!! And to think...this weekend couldn't have been more perfect as far as the weather was concerned...all sunshine and no rain....mid 70's...perfect for cruisin' down the streets with the windows rolled down...and singing to your favorite tunes at the top of your lungs...Yup, I did that! I keep telling the girls that I have this excited feeling in the pit of my stomach and I don't even know why...I feel like something's about to happen without knowing what that something is...and it's driving me CRAZY!!! I feel restless...anxious...like I'm waiting for something...the only thing is...I have no clue what it is... Have you ever gotten that feeling before??? I mean, I know that the guys are going to be here this week...but I don't even know if we're going to meet up with them. This weekend, Esmer and I have been making plans...trying to come up with an excuse so that Luis will let her go without causing another argument...but now...I'm not even sure if I want to anymore... I haven't even called Izzy and I told him I would...this weekend I told myself, "Okay, I'll call him during the day just to say 'what's up?' And just so he won't think I only call him when they're having a concert or something." But then I completely forgot...and when I do remember I just say I'll do it later...and I don't know why... Don't get me wrong...I really want to hang out with them and trip out...just like the old times...but sometimes I feel like we're not on the same page...like they're so used to getting what they want and if they don't get it they get all mad and stuff...like there's this particular somebody who tried to mess with me and I told him no...and I can't even say who he is...because the wrong person might happen to come across this thing...and...well...never mind...I can't say now...it's too delicate of a situation to even mention anything...at least when I read this thing I'll know exactly what I'm talking about, and that's all that matters at this point... Anyway...I've been listening to their c.d. a lot lately...and I just keep thinking about him...the guy with the smile...and how I've had exactly 3 opportunities to find out how he kisses...and I just blew it all away...and Esmer had said, "3 strikes and you're out"...and I keep thinking..."If I got another chance...would I? Even if I know that he's inlove with someone else...and this thing probably won't even mean anything?" And it's so tough a question!!! At least for me...because a part of me just wants to know...but then again I know I would want more than that and I can't have it... And I should just take Eric's advise because he's SO RIGHT!!! I won't find what I'm looking for on the road... And maybe that's why I really don't want to go this week...maybe I should just let it go and quit wondering...I shouldn't play with fire...no matter how beautiful it looks...
How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |