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Wednesday...
So...I've been thinking...about the whole Nelson situation. And I know I probably shouldn't even be thinking about it at all...but I just can't help it sometimes. I guess this whole thing with us just gets weird to me sometimes. Like the whole "friends" but not really "friends" situation... I should have already accepted the fact by now that he's a player...although I don't have valid proof of it...I know deep in my heart that he is. Every inch in my bones tells me so. So why do I keep going back? I keep asking myself that question over and over and still have yet to come up with an answer... It's been what? A good 3 years already? And what's come out of it? Absolutely nothing! Yeah...it's been on and off...but 3 years, nonetheless... And I guess one fear I have of this trip is actually "seeing" him with a girl with my own eyes..."seeing" him meet a girl...and who knows what else... And I'm afraid that I won't be able to control that jealousy if it ever happens... I know I shouldn't even be thinking about stuff like that...worrying about things that hasn't even happened yet...But still... I guess I just have to make a pact with myself that no matter what happens, I am going to have fun on this trip...with Nelson or without Nelson... And I have to make a pact with myself as well that if I do witness something that I don't want to witness...I should take it as a revelation... Maybe just stick with the whole "friendship" thing...but nothing else... Yeah...good thought.
How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |