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Monday...
My bones are all achy from lifting and moving stuff all weekend...I didn't even feel like partying... I can't believe I stayed home ALL WEEKEND! Wow! Oh well, I needed that for a change... So I'm finally doing it...letting go. It started with giving away all the stuffed animals he gave me. Every single one has a memory connected to it...and I cherished them for so long. But I told my mom to give them to my nieces. I don't want it anymore. I've held on for too long. It's time to let go of my past...and that's a start. Next would be his letters and his pictures...those are going to be sooo hard...but I know I have to gather up all my strength and do it for me. So I'm going to look over them one more time...and then in the trash they'll go. Wish me luck! So I posted a note under J.P's message board last night...and now that I think about it...I probably shouldn't even have done that. Maybe I should just forget about it. He probably doesn't even read those d*mn things. To call or not to call...that is the question... And I'm still debating. Should I???? I don't know!!! I just don't know!!! A part of me says, "Yes, call and then leave it at that. Leave the ball in his court." But then another part of me says, "Just leave it alone. Don't call." What to do, what to do? After all, he did mess up...but then again, there's nothing to be mad about....there really isn't. It's not like he owed me anything. So what if he liked me? So what if there was a vibe? So freakin' what if he makes me laugh?! After all of that...he's still one of them. And that's never gonna change. What he did just proved it. So why play with fire? You've been burned once, don't you ever learn your freakin' lesson?! I don't know...
How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |