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Friday...
I'm off work today...mainly because I think we are gonna go ahead and go to Kansas for the weekend to visit Richard...and I still have to get my car oil changed and my C.D. player fixed...shoot...it's gonna be a long drive...we might as well jam out! Plus...I don't think there are going to be any cool radio stations on the way to ol' cuntry.... Last night...I just went to Los Lupes with Rufus to watch his cousin play...and then we went to Don Pablos to have a few drinks with his cousin and Chris...it was cool...we just sat at a table...drank...hung out...talked...I seem to get along more with guys than I do girls...don't ask me why...I get weird vibes from girls... Like Rufus' ex girlfriend was at Don Pablo's last night...and when we hung out at the Frat party...she was all cool and stuff...last night...there was something weird about her...maybe she's jealous...but she has to understand that I don't even see Rufus like that! He's just my friend...oh, well...I'm used to it by now...so it doesn't even bother me anymore... I've been thinking about this whole Kansas trip...I guess I'm just going with the flow...I'll leave this up to destiny. But I guess I have to at least try. I have to find my past, face it, and move on from there...I have to know that there really isn't anything there anymore...that whatever it was is gone...so that way I don't have to keep looking back... I guess I just have to make sure... So I can close that door down....because right now, as easy as it may seem to say...I can't. It's really hard...specially when all these memories just keep coming back... I was thinking to myself today that if it wasn't for all these memories...it probably would be so much easier to let go... But when I think I finally have...something comes up and I realize that I haven't... And for my sake...I have to face him...face this...and figure it out before he marries her...and I'm left wondering...why...what if.... I can't keep wondering anymore... How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |