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Monday...
Hmmm...a lot of things happened yesterday...and I guess I feel giddy...like something new, but familiar is happening...like maybe God is listening, afterall...but there's still that fear of getting disappointed...I guess it's too soon to tell... Cindy called me yesterday...and told me that Richard's postponing the wedding...because he's not sure if he wants to be married to her, anymore...she said that he told the girl that he's not happy anymore...that he hasn't been for a while... I sent him a text message telling him that I heard he was back from California and that I'm glad he got back okay. He called me right after and we talked for a little bit. And then I let him go because I was gonna go rollerblading in the park with my brother...and Cindy and the kids...while I was putting on my blades, he sent me another text message... It said, "Thanks for the message. It's nice to know that people still care after all we've been through. I'm sorry for all the times I've hurt you." And I told him, "You're welcome. I told you I was always going to be here for you. You just never believed me." We talked again later on that afternoon...about a lot of stuff. Just catching up. Nothing about her...nothing about feelings...just what we've been up to. I was telling him funny stories about PJ...and making him laugh. We made plans about me maybe going over to Fort Riley to see him...I guess we'll see... It felt good. And I don't want this feeling to go away... And I know things with them are not definite yet...and I know disappointment's still lingering...somewhere in the air...and heart ache...pain...all the emotions I'm so used to by now... But for the moment...I feel good... And I don't feel guilty...because he's mine...and even if things are really not that way...my heart's always going to feel it...
How the stars line up - 08.25.09 2008 already?! - 2008-01-07 Yet another transition... - 2006-09-27 Already been a year... - 2006-09-05 Too late... - 2006-06-30 |